It’s rare that I’m blown away by YouTube because, in general, I’m not interested in what everyone else is interested in. Usually, I discover things that were viral three years ago. That’s my M.O.
So, imagine my surprise at finding the most awesomest thing at the top of You Tube’s Featured Videos.
Here’s the description:
Two girls find a mysterious radio left at their doorstep. They unleash a six armed goddess who seduces them with promises of wealth. They trade their souls for money and, in turn, become the goddess’ dancing elephant slaves.
I don’t know if this is The Heavy’s official video to “Coleen,” but it should be.
Elect Hillary so that Bill has to be the First lady.
The Republican elephant stood beside it. I re-read it wondering why first was capitalized while lady wasn’t. I wondered if that had something to do with why I was missing the attempted snap.
I started looking for the truth that underlies most jokes. I thought, “How could this statement possibly be true from a Republican perspective? On some level is it more important to the Republican to imagine Bill in a dress than to win the election? Is a man in a dress really that degrading in the Republican mind?”
Then I thought, “Maybe it’s a call back to the Monica thing. Maybe the sticker is implying that Hillary will fool around with an intern while in office. That could be almost funny, in an Earlian karma kind of way.” But then I came back to, “So this sticker would prefer to see cosmic justice served than win the election? I’m still not getting it.”
I finally came to the conclusion that Republicans are born without mirth. Their attempts are precious but slightly depressing.
Jen-An, Owen, Jerry and I went to Chicago last week. The highlight of my time in Chicago was fulfilling a lifelong dream of mine. Family Guy stole my dream and made it a parody, so you may already know where this is going. I wanted to sit in front of Georges Seurat’s masterwork at The Art Institute and listen to The Dream Academy.
In Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, I identified with Cameron. I never wanted to be Ferris. I wanted to be - and be with - Cameron. He wasn’t my first movie crush, but he was important. The scene where the camera switches between Cameron’s eyes and those of the little girl in Sunday Afternoon on the Isle of La Grande Jatte was powerful for 14-year old me. I understood the longing in that exchange.
A little later, I started exploring Sondheim and rented the PBS performance of Mandy Patinkin in Sunday in the Park with George. I didn’t know it was about Georges Seurat’s famous painting until the end of Act I or that it was a multi-Tony-nominated musical; I thought I was making a discovery. The story is about the character of Seurat who isolates himself in pursuit of his art. That’s what I got out of it anyway.
Again, there’s that theme of loneliness with this painting. As a lonely little fella, I connected with this painting.
It’s breath-taking in person, and I nearly cried sitting there looking at it. I feel like Seurat painted it just for me, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels like that scene is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off was filmed just for me. Or that “Sunday,” the song from Sunday in the Park with George, was written just for me. Or that Seth MacFarlane and Co. wrote the parody in Family Guy just for me.
I’m sure that these things are loved by many, many, many people. How Eleanor Rigby of us.
Apparently, Planet Unicorn isn’t the most original thing on the internet. I’m years late, but in case you haven’t seen it, here’s Charlie the Unicorn, by Jason Steele. Instead of three gay unicorns you get one apathetic and two very creepy unicorns. How did my site become the repository for all things unicorn?
I’ve pretty much been obsessed with “Planet Unicorn” for the last 3 days; I now have the theme song memorized. For my sanity, I’ve decided not to post any more. HOWEVER! There’s one more just uploaded on Acceptable TV. Again, it’s not as good as the first two, but for anyone that hasn’t had enough of Feathers, Cadillac, and Tom Cruise, go over and see.
Myself? I’m going to download them to my iPod and watch them whenever I want. Planet Unicorn is now officially my favorite. Poor “Teen Girl Squad” has to step down.
- Update -
Oh what the hell. Why break tradition if it’ll make it easier for me to find it?
So, I just had one of those convergence things that all the kids are doing. I was eating my tuna fish sammich watching Acceptable TV, enjoying myself a great deal, and I wanted to see more viewer submitted videos. I clicky-clicked and there, in front of my wondering eyes, was the second episode of Planet Unicorn. Hooray.
Now, it’s not as good as that first episode. The first episode was like a kick, a very funny kick, in the balls. This is still quite delightful, though.
