balding angrily

As you can tell, the updates for my blog have started to dwindle. Yeah, it may be a cop-out to say I’m busy, but it’s the truth. And I’m busy doing stuff that I find exciting. So I guess I can at least update you on those small things that are keeping me from you, my beloved fan. (Do I really still have any of those?)

The Advocate Magazine - On the three days I’m not at my job in architecture, I’m interning at a local magazine. I just finished my first article for them that will get published in March. The article tells a few stories about a specific intersection that’s getting a lot of attention locally. Whole Foods is building a new store at this intersection which is really the center of this particular community. I’m really proud of my work on the article, and I’m looking forward to seeing it published.

Right now I’m working on a couple of photograph-heavy pieces for the magazine’s annual design issue. I’m interviewing some architects and trying to line up some photo-shoots of remodeled bathrooms. These are a nice break from the intensive research I had to do for the other article.

Working Out/Maintaining Health - Again, it seems silly to write about this, but I do spend a lot of time in the gym. That takes me away from you, dear reader. And instead of being apologetic about it, I might as well admit to it and be proud of what I’ve accomplished. Since early 2007 I’ve taken 20 pounds off, and it just feels really, really great. I like looking at myself in the mirror now. And I feel good, up, happy. All those things that lead to boring writing.

Editing the YAF Connection - In Salt Lake City, at our end-of-year meeting, I received a lot of strokes from my colleagues on the work I did last year for the YAF Connection. They said that I greatly exceeded expectations, and that I was a valuable asset to the group. These things gathered together validate that I’m not making a mistake by pursuing this “writing” thing.

Miscellanea - Jerry and I have been going to a lot of open houses; we’re feeling out the Dallas real estate market, finding out what our money can buy. When we decide to buy, we’ll be educated.

Tonight Jerry and I are hosting our open house at our loft. Every month our building picks a floor, and the tenants on that floor open up their lofts if they want. The rest of the building comes to the open lofts and judges them. Jerry’s been working himself into a lather to make sure that we win “best loft.” I don’t think we will, or maybe it’s more correct to say that I don’t care a whole lot. I just hope people enjoy our loft.

Sunday we’re pulling hosting duties for my family. Over the holidays we didn’t connect with them, so this is to make up for that. I’ll be cooking two recipes, one from our new favorite Food TV personality, Ina Garten.

That’s about it. I can’t promise more frequent updates because, like I said, I’m enjoying the work that’s keeping me away from the blog. Plus I’m pretty proud of the posts I HAVE been putting up. Lately, I’m thinking that I’d rather have fewer quality posts than more frequent “blah” posts. Lately, anyway. Except for this one. This one’s shit.

Sorry.  This is another of those posts that’s just an update.

I will be entertaining my sister from Phoenix for the weekend, so I can’t angrily bald.  Even if I didn’t have host duties, my internet at home no worky.  If my ongoing trouble with AT&T DSL* goes much longer, I’ll blog about it in hopes of getting a free computer, a free Wii, or something.

*Why does every call to AT&T leave me feeling like a desperate loser?  I hang up and think, “Please call me.  Pleasepleaseplease.”  Then I forlornly stare at the phone.

Jerry and I are going to Eureka Springs this weekend, so I’ll be away from computers, the internet, fun. (When Google Maps tells you that your vacation spot looks like a vericose vein, you’re going to spend a lot of time staring blankly into the distance.)

I encourage you to stay, have a look around, and think of your favorite posts from this site. I’d like to compile a “Best of…” page. That is your assignment while I mope adjacent to old things. Hop to it.

My AQs are up. If you have a question that did not get answered, please ask it. I can’t promise you that I will answer, but I may.

This update may be more for me than for you; I’m trying to get myself on a regular schedule.

I started work today at a part-time job. It’s at an architecture firm that I worked at about five years ago, and I regretted leaving there for a couple of reasons that I won’t go into here. So, I’ll be working there for two-and-a-half days every week and working from home the rest of the time.

What that means for you, dear reader, is that I’ll be updating less than lately. But I’ll be updating more than last year. Three-ish times per week, Sons and Daughters of Adam. That’s the goal. Yes, I know I still owe you an FAQ page. That’s next on my to-do list.

Oh look. Wigs.

I checked out my keyword search terms for the first time in a long time. I was hoping to eke out another “i’m peeking at you” update. No doing. The same top search terms keep coming up.

Time and again, “balding suicide” comes up. The thought that a suicidal person comes to this site in a misguided search for solace frightens me. It’s alarming. I feel like I need to build a special page for these people with links to suicide hot lines or pages of hot baldies.

Then I thought, “I’m overdue to put up an FAQ page.” The balding suicide issue could be one of the FAQs.

So, I have to ask you, dear reader. What are your FAQs? Obviously I’ll make some up, but I’d like to get some suggestions. And please don’t get offended if I don’t use yours. It just means it wasn’t good enough, and by extension, you’re not good enough.

Oh. And thank you, Magnus. A million times, thank you. You are the wind beneath my wings force behind my flatulence. I get most of my traffic from your site. If you were here, I’d kiss you on a part of your body that would make both of us uncomfortable.

The plan was that this blog was going to be my gateway to happiness, a distraction from my job. Instead it pointed out that that distraction was really, really distracting. And I got a slap on the wrist for it. Then months and months crawled by with me struggling to maintain interest in this side project. And I found other distractions - a literature class, working out, eating better. Lately I’ve been concentrating on finishing a graduate school application.

All this to say, I acknowledge that Balding Angrily is struggling to maintain life. For the two people that may be reading this, thank you for sticking around, and I haven’t given up. I see a future for BA, possibly as a very specific kind of gay porn website - bald men with twisted, red faces. Though that kind of porn is readily available, my porn would really, really focus on the bald and the angry. Just like the foot fetish websites feature pictures taken from the ground level with foreshortened legs and humongous feet, mine would feature pictures taken from above the veiny, hairless foreheads of my models.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from all of us here at Balding Angrily Central. Here is my final Christmas thought for you:

Junk mail filter is on! Wonder Twin powers, activate! Form of…a cheetah! Form of…a bucket of water!

Poor Zan, always having to turn into a bucket of water with an Abyss-like head extension popping out of it while his curvy sister gets to turn into a Discovery Channel-ready noble animal. I always felt sad for Zan.

Pre-adolescent worries aside, I just turned on the junk mail filter for alex@baldingangrily. Dreamhost assures me that it’s an aggressive spam filter, so you may get your email caught. If you do, please alert me. Most of you know another email address you can get me at.

The other night a friend, a fellow baldy, said to me, “Balding Angrily, eh? Well I’m Balding Happily.” It was the first he’d heard of the blog. I was taken aback about half an inch but dismissed it, knowing it was a joke.

When Andrew Dice Clay got called out for his act, his wife defended him from the accusations of homophobia, racism and misogyny. She said (paraphrasing) “What that is on stage is a character he plays to get laughs. The man that I spend my life with isn’t like that.” I always understood that defense; I think that’s a legitimate position. I also, life everyone else, thought, “Yeah, but…”

• Yeah, but I bet there’s a part of him that is a misogynistic, racist, homophobic asshole.
• Yeah, but even if it is a character, should those things be said for entertainment? What value is added to the world?
• Yeah, but he’s using an ugly character for his own gain. He’s making money perpetuating stereotypes.

Pick any of those or come up with your own “Yeah, but…” Keep it in your head. You’ll use it later.

The name for the blog came to me after some light self-reflection. Think of it as microwave self-reflection. Quick and simple. A kind of reflection that excites the brain cells just enough. I was trying to come up with a name for the blog that was catchy, that someone could easily remember when surfing. I looked at my two favorite blogs, Little. Yellow. Different. and Defective Yeti and felt the words in my mouth. They’re fun phrases to taste, and they’re memorable. I used them as a template.

I knew my bald head would be an image easily exploited, but I needed a phrase. Balding gracefully was easy to remember, but I thought, “I don’t do things gracefully.”* I thought of other -ly words, and after the microwave self-reflection, I came up with balding angrily. I liked the way that tasted. It’s smooth feeling, velvety with a hit of acid that comes with the hard g. So the name of the blog came out of a utilitarian and visceral thing. Easy to remember. Tastes good.

As I say in the about me, I’m not truly angry.** I have my pet peeves, but I don’t hold a whole lot of vinegar. Pick another adjective and you might come closer to the truth: curmudgeonly, acerbic, pessimistic. But not angry. Look at my mascot. That guy’s more annoyed than angry. And even with those other adjectives, I like to think that’s a character I play to get laughs. If ever my curmudgeonly, acerbic, pessimistic manner hurt someone’s feelings, I’d be sad. My goal is to entertain, not offend.

Now hit me with your “Yeah, but…”

• Yeah, but Alex, if you aren’t really so acerbic, how can you do it so well?
• Yeah, but Alex, what good are you doing for the world by assuming this curmudgeonly character?
• Yeah, but Alex, isn’t it just as easy to assume a happy character, one that brings light?

I would answer those questions, but I would have to defend myself. Which would make me angry. I started this post angry and have been using this post to difuse it. Now that it’s gone, I don’t want it back.

Maybe I’ll tell you another time what made me angry. Maybe I won’t. If I do, hooray! You get a prize! If not, suck it.

^{*Somewhere in the code of this site, you’ll see the tag not gracefully. If I had a different Wordpress theme the blog would have a colon name, a sequel name. Balding Angrily: Not Gracefully.}

**Yes, the inspiration also came from Angry White Girl, who I still miss. I frigging loved her.

Yes, this is one of those posts - one of the one’s where I apologize profusely for not posting, but I also want to update you on something going on.

As you all know, I’m in the midst of a struggle trying to figure out what to do with my career. I can’t honestly say I hate architecture, but I have no passion for it. Over the past six months since I started this blog, this feeling of disquietude has increased, probably because the job so clearly contrasts with this blog, which I really love doing.

As you probably know, I’ve been doing a lot of blogging at work. On Friday my bosses asked me to stop doing internet things. While I would love to tell the bosses to shove it and walk, that’s a reaction that doesn’t match in severity the request. Also, I have my obligations to the household and Jerry to think about.

This meeting on Friday was a long time in coming, and I knew it. Over the weekend I spent some time moping, and I am still unsettled as to what to do. Because of this, the forces of nature have made it clear to me that I need to shit or get off the pot. It’s put up or shut up time. It’s time to throw all the clichés I can think of in a bag and shake vigorously. In other words, I can’t just talk about hating my job anymore. Thoughtful action is required.

What that means for you, my faithful readers, is I may be posting less as I try to get my shit together.