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i’ve come to fear doorways

Here’s the promised follow-up. I mentioned in the comments to the last post that there was a news crew taping my time in the wheelchair. Here it is. Bask in my luminescence.

Also, for Nick, the charity is Winners on Wheels. I would link to it, but the website is down. One of the people in charge of the event, the contact with Winners on Wheels, tried explaining why the website was down, but I was too busy bitching about getting water to hear her.

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fiber & local news

Brendan Higgins is a himbo.  If you follow the wikipedia definition, it’s no surprise that a local news anchor is an “attractive but vacuous man.”  That was the whole premise of Anchorman.

What’s a surprise to me is that I just figured it out this morning.  Every school-day I wake up, scratch my chest and ass, stand in front of the mirror for about ten minutes trying to determine if I can see my ribs better, pinch my love handles trying to determine if they’ve gotten smaller overnight, take a shower, feeling my other parts that might have grown or shrunk, and pour myself a bowl of cereal.  Then I turn on Channel 5 News, watch Brendan and Deborah and chew fiber goodness intending to make my stool nice and loose.  Maybe it’s the cereal or the news, but it works like a charm every day.

This morning Brendan and Deborah had to vamp before it went to weather.  I expect my news to be relatively free of chatter.  I don’t want to know that he went to the game last night right after hearing a story about a person who died in a flash flood.  It’s my thought that Brendan ended up an anchor unwittingly.  He really wants to be the sports guy.  I’m thinking this as I watch Deborah react to his dopey smiley comments with a straight face.  She encourages him.  She thinks his blather is fine for a morning news program.  I said to myself, “what an idiot…but he’s cute.”  And I loves me some dumb, cute guys: Ashton Kutcher, Sean William Scott, Johnny Knoxville: I loves ‘em.  That’s when I realized that Brendan Higgins is a himbo; I like him like I like Joey Tribbiani.

I feel I’ve grown since I’ve had this moment of self-realization.

Also, I love a good person-gets-caught-in-their-car-in-a-flash-flood news story.  I love pictures of cars sinking into water with people standing on top of them.

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