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local history

So I’m digging through history, looking for a story about a local traffic intersection. I think I’ve got what I want to write about, and it connects nicely with what’s happening now at that intersection. And luckily I’m not into the WRITING yet; I’m just researching.

As I dig through The Dallas Morning News archives, I keep coming across these great bits of wordsmithing, bits that make me want go back in time to when a headline like, “Toreadors of Abrams Road Fight Speeding Autos, Not Bulls to Board Streetcars,” didn’t prompt a guffaw. When thieves were referred to as “robbers” and “bandits” that “bedeviled” police. When “juveniles” and “youths” were “hanging around places that would certainly get them into trouble.” When a furniture store opening was announced by a picture of some lawn furniture and this press release:

Umbrella Beauty - Glimpse the inside of this umbrella done in a red rose pattern, the valance attractively edged with six-inch white fringe. There’s a place for the zinc-plated handle in the glass-top table. Chairs of washable vinyl plastic in a palomino color have wrought-iron frames and come in several different colors.

You can almost hear a woman in an ivory pencil skirt with a conservative up-do, saying the above into a fist-sized microphone as the staged lawn furniture spins on a laminated press-board platform. I’m having fun. I wish I could tell my high school history teacher, Mr. Glenn, “See! I DO like history. Just not in the way you teach it.”

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meet george jetson

Looks like another one of my hopes for future tech is one step closer to coming true.

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grinding along

Editing

Like a machine. A few dull moments - Jerry out of town over the weekend, leaving me to watch rentals all day. A few up moments - submitting a short story to some journals, meeting up with a different writer’s group - one not so concerned with sci fi erotica - writing and re-writing a second short story. This one’s much more autobiographical than the first.

But you don’t know about the first. It was about a little girl, disconnected but trying to connect with her hands - not so much with her voice. After lots of rejections, I’ll publish it here. The second one’s about my time in band with my friends, feeling for all of them and having the hots for one of them. In the story, the one I had the hots for is a mash-up of two of the guys I actually had the hots for.

It’s a lot of fun, and I would love to share. But I want to publish, so I can’t. If anyone’s really, really, really curious, I’ll email you the stories. But you have to offer feedback. Writing isn’t as useful to me unless I get feedback. And I mean criticism; I consider all criticism.

Oh, but I got published. As you know, I’m the Communications Editor of an AIA group called the YAF. I submitted a small opinion piece, and my boss liked it. It’s good to be editor.

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windows baldingangrily update

This update may be more for me than for you; I’m trying to get myself on a regular schedule.

I started work today at a part-time job. It’s at an architecture firm that I worked at about five years ago, and I regretted leaving there for a couple of reasons that I won’t go into here. So, I’ll be working there for two-and-a-half days every week and working from home the rest of the time.

What that means for you, dear reader, is that I’ll be updating less than lately. But I’ll be updating more than last year. Three-ish times per week, Sons and Daughters of Adam. That’s the goal. Yes, I know I still owe you an FAQ page. That’s next on my to-do list.

Oh look. Wigs.

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passing around the hat

My creation

Crumpet is continuing a meme ‘cuz she’s cool like dat. Here’s my mosaic. The rules are simple; follow the link to do the thing yourself.

I noticed Crumpet picked pictures that somehow related to her answers. I didn’t; I picked the picture that I was most drawn to.*

The Questions:
1. What is your first name? alex
2. What is your favorite food? pizza
3. What high school did you go to? ocean view
4. What is your favorite color? red
5. Who is your celebrity crush? beckham
6. Favorite drink? mocha
7. Dream vacation? greece
8. Favorite dessert? tiramisu
9. What you want to be when you grow up? writer
10. What do you love most in life? jerry
11. One word to describe you. obnoxious
12. Your flickr name. baldingangrily

Here are the photo credits:

1. Esta foto se la tomé en las fuentes del Grao de Castellón a mi nieto Alex, lo pasó como un “gancho” corriendo de una a otra (A mi se me caía la baba, evidentemente), 2. Day 307, 3. not afraid, 4. Beautiful old lady from Darap(Sikkim) village, 5. Beckham Got Milk?, 6. “If you don’t feed me.. I’ll..” Mocha, 7. Up Or Down, 8. tira mi su**, 9. Day 106 - I am a librarian, 10. 846, 11. what we are wearing to town…..and my mom is crazy…, 12. Alex and The Internet

*Excepting the pic of Becks. In his case, I chose a pic that showcased his otherworldly humpability without Victoria aka “My cheekbones are instruments of death” getting all up in his bidness.

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when in doubt, ask for help

I checked out my keyword search terms for the first time in a long time. I was hoping to eke out another “i’m peeking at you” update. No doing. The same top search terms keep coming up.

Time and again, “balding suicide” comes up. The thought that a suicidal person comes to this site in a misguided search for solace frightens me. It’s alarming. I feel like I need to build a special page for these people with links to suicide hot lines or pages of hot baldies.

Then I thought, “I’m overdue to put up an FAQ page.” The balding suicide issue could be one of the FAQs.

So, I have to ask you, dear reader. What are your FAQs? Obviously I’ll make some up, but I’d like to get some suggestions. And please don’t get offended if I don’t use yours. It just means it wasn’t good enough, and by extension, you’re not good enough.

Oh. And thank you, Magnus. A million times, thank you. You are the wind beneath my wings force behind my flatulence. I get most of my traffic from your site. If you were here, I’d kiss you on a part of your body that would make both of us uncomfortable.

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taking the cheap way out

Not much happened yesterday. Ergo, no post. It was my first truly wasted day, where I didn’t have any excuse to be a lazy sack. So’s you can join in my slackitude, here’s the webcomic that I fell in love with. I just don’t do webcomics, so this is a treat for you, the reader.

The Non-Adventures of Wonderella

I like her because she’s a superhero that talks in slang and kills inappropriately. Normally I’m not into superhero parody, but Wonderella’s personality speaks to me. A friend told me once that if I wanted him to read something, I should describe it as “Calvin and Hobbes” with a something.

Wonderella is Calvin, if he had grown up into a woman with superpowers.

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this post may be about illegal substances

dope comix

You might remember that I wrote an issue of The Dope Sheet for Filmspotting, way back when it was Adam and Sam, not Adam and Matty. You don’t know that I wrote a second Dope Sheet, hoping Adam would publish it. That didn’t happen because The Dope Sheet stopped happening. It went the way of the crows. Or magpies or whatever.

So here it is, The Dope Sheet that never was.

A Good Critic Will Eat Your Opinion for Lunch

Have you tried reading Moby Dick lately? Ooh-wee, T’Shane. That’s nappy-time you can hold in your hand.

Later on, I’ll tell you why I’m so comfortable writing that. For now, let its sophistication hit you between the eyeballs and enjoy a story that led me to it. No, no, no. The story didn’t lead me directly. That would be much too easy; this will require your patience.

In college my professor pointed to a sculpture and said, “Look how beautiful that is.” It was, in my eyes, quite ugly – all angles and rust. He followed that declaration with, “Of course there’s an objectivity when you look at art. You see something and it’s beautiful or not.” I looked at the sculpture again and thought, “Huh.”1

A few years ago Adam said the following in response to some harsh feedback, “Well, all criticism is subjective. Anyone who says otherwise…well, that’s just foolish.” You can see how this statement doesn’t jibe with my professor’s.

Two weeks ago, Jerry responded to an argument for subjectivity in a review of a local exhibit. He said, “Well, of course there’s good and there’s bad in art. Everyone knows the difference.”

“But we see movies and we disagree,” I challenged him. “You loved Little Miss Sunshine. Me? Not so much.”

“But you’re talking about a work that’s at a higher level then say, a home video of two girls dancing to ‘Fergilicious’,” he said. “We enjoy something like that, but we agree it’s bad. It’s an amateur thing.

“Once you get to higher levels, judging goes from objective to subjective,” he continued, “it’s much harder to get everyone to agree. You start getting into how a work touches on the viewer’s past experience, as how a person can just prefer traditional design to modern design. At that level, everything gets grayer and harder to parse; there’s a criticism that requires more analysis.”2

I respect Jerry; I think he’s smart. I’m going to use his theory to work back up to that first statement. Follow along; there’s cake at the end.

Criticism is inherently subjective at higher levels, requiring finer analysis. That’s Jerry’s statement. I don’t do “earnest,” so it scares the hell out of me. Let me lay it flat and work on it a bit.

Analysis is “This thing is made of these other four things. And these four things inform each other, rub against each other like sandpaper, and give contrast to each other. And further, these four things are made of these smaller eight things. And looking at just one of these eight smaller things, one can see it as a seed or miniature of the overall big thing.”

Opinion is much different; opinion is “This thing is bad.”

Now look at the thick border between analysis and opinion. “Shaun of the Dead, an increasingly common combination of slapstick comedy, societal commentary, and horror, succeeds at none of the above.”3 That place is dangerous; it’s the area where the critic sits, an area that makes for tummy-aches. That’s the center of the rotted wood bridge through which Rudger-hunting soldiers fell in Ladyhawke. I don’t like that place; I’d rather opine.

So that’s how I got to that statement way at the very tippy-top. It’s so much easier to leave out all that cumbersome, muddy analysis. Leave the intelligent criticism to Adam and Sam.

And the part about the cake? I lied.

1I’ve since come to love angles and rust.

2I’m paraphrasing; I don’t think Jerry has ever used “parse” in conversation.

3That’s an example only. Don’t get your nose hairs in a twist.

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the goddess’ dancing elephant slaves

It’s rare that I’m blown away by YouTube because, in general, I’m not interested in what everyone else is interested in. Usually, I discover things that were viral three years ago. That’s my M.O.

So, imagine my surprise at finding the most awesomest thing at the top of You Tube’s Featured Videos.

Here’s the description:

Two girls find a mysterious radio left at their doorstep. They unleash a six armed goddess who seduces them with promises of wealth. They trade their souls for money and, in turn, become the goddess’ dancing elephant slaves.

I don’t know if this is The Heavy’s official video to “Coleen,” but it should be.

Relax and enjoy. (A warning. It’s a big file.)

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in the absense of planet unicorn

I like how they used a pit bull to demonstrate the awesome abilities of this unicorn costume set. It’s like, “All your baby killings add up to zilch. You still look like a little princess.” (via Defamer)

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