fun facts about england
…in general, and London specifically.
J & I will be going to London in February, and I’m preparing by reading The Unofficial Guide to London
- “Don’t tell anyone that their accent is “cute.” It is you who has the accent, and it is not considered remotely cute by the British.” What if I talk like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins the whole time? What if I openly mock them and accompany anything I say with a chimney-sweeping jig? Will they find that cute?
- Queen Elizabeth I had her cousin, Mary, Queen of Scots executed and buried. After Elizabeth’s reign, Mary’s body was exhumed and placed in Westminster Abbey, not far from the body of Elizabeth. No this is not REALLY interesting unless you picture Mary, Queen of Scots as a fourteen-foot tall puppet with gangly arms. My knowledge of British history is tainted by Monty Python, and their Pantomime Queen is one of the more enduring images in my head.
- Along the slow transfer of power from the monarchy to parliament in British government is an episode where “monarchist Cavaliers were defeated by Puritan Roundheads.” I’ve never understood why political parties choose for themselves unflattering images: Roundheads, donkeys, elephants, know-nothings. Or if they didn’t choose the image for themselves, why did they stick with the images someone else gave them? But then again, I despise politics, so maybe I’m not meant to know.
- “Don’t expect people to introduce you to others. One can spend an entire evening with a group of people who introduce neither themselves nor their friends to you. This is not bad manners; rather, it has something to do with the don’t-be-pushy rule that prevails at most gatherings. Introductions can only be undertaken by the correct factotum, and nobody will know who that might be, so they keep quiet (as may the correct factotum, not wanting to look self-important).” It’s no wonder Yanks are perceived as elephantine bores if introducing oneself is considered presumptuous. We must look like mountain men with puffed-up chests to them. That’s why I want to be as slender and aerodynamic as I can when we go to London. I want to be wispy, starved like a sliver of soap.
- Knightsbridge is “famous for having the most consonants in a row in any English word.” I did not know that. And because I did not know that I assume that The Unofficial Guide is lying to me.
- In order to quickly adjust to the time change, travelers are advised, “On the plane, drink lots and lots of water, but no alcohol, and eat sparingly. Sleeping on the plane is not always an option, but do try.” Well, that makes sense. Sleeping’s not an option because you’re running to the bathroom to void your bladder AND you’re clawing at your empty belly like a Dickensian waif.