Finally! An opportunity to exploit the youth in my life. My sister-in-law recently granted her daughter (my niece) the ability to text. They have controls over her texting schedule and content, but my niece took full advantage of her new abilities over the weekend. I sat next her a little bit and looked over her shoulder.
It’s old hat to bemoan the illiteracy of youth; so, I won’t go there. I’m fascinated and a little excited at the prospect that they are creating a language. After reading some letters by Thomas Jefferson, I have to acknowledge that we have changed English over the past 250 years. I see texting shorthand as just a continuation of that. In other words, it is my burden to learn what “k y r u so drty” means; it’s not their burden to conform to my outdated concepts of grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
Anyway, she texted me this morning.
Spunky Youth: Am i ur fav
Me: Favorite what? Human? Female? Child under 14? Dark-haired wanderer? And under what criteria are you wanting to be judged? Textual? Hyper-textual? Contextual? Spiritual?
Spunky Youth: Huh
Me: You’re the one who asked if you were my favorite. I’m just trying to ascertain the parameters before I render my verdict.
Spunky Youth: Oh i mean ur favorite person sence im so lovly
Me: You are very lovely; I’ll give you that. However. Connecting your inherent loveliness to some judgment of your overall quality as a human? That’s an incredibly troublesome jump in logic.
Spunky Youth: Huh please dont use big words with me
Me: No big words? Hm. Can’t do that. But I do have to go to work. Ask your mom or dad or teacher what I said.
Spunky Youth: K byese bye
Me: Good day, young lady. Make sure it is a glorious day full of vim and verve.
Spunky Youth: um back 2 u
It was a nice way to start the week.
MagnusWhoCantFindHisPasswordBecauseItIsOnHisOtherComputer | 03-Mar-08 at 11:47 am | Permalink
überselfpwnage kthxbye
m_rturnage | 03-Mar-08 at 12:06 pm | Permalink
What would be a funny buplet,
Is if you answered in rhyming couplet.
Our language is one which often flexes,
Under the weight of telephone text-es.
PulpAffliction | 03-Mar-08 at 12:14 pm | Permalink
Test-speak makes me cry; please continue to bemoan the loss of our beloved language. This is not an evolution of language, if anything it’s a devolution… 1337 5p34k, 0n teh 0t43r h4nd…
alex | 03-Mar-08 at 1:25 pm | Permalink
Welcome back, Nick.
And M. Robert, I’m glad you commented. I had you in mind when writing this.
Magnus, you have an added burden. You have feed this texting language through a second translating tool. That’s gotta be tough for you.
crumpet | 05-Mar-08 at 2:20 pm | Permalink
I’m physically incapable of sms shorthand, I love predictive text on my phone…
Except for “yr”. I just like the way that looks, and use it all the time.
Now I’m off to have a glorious day full of vim and verve!