Since I put that little Amazon advertisement down there underneath all the other detritus in the right column, I’ve been paying attention to what comes up. Amazon calls it an Omakase link, which, according to them, is Japanese for “leave it up to us.”
It is commonly used in Japanese restaurants for a meal where the chef uses their experience and knowledge to select and prepare the meal for a customer without specific directions.
Omakase - try it, you’ll like it!
In other words, Amazon is reading your browsing habits right now - RIGHT NOW, I TELL YOU!!! - to select the perfect product for you. If you’re scared that this is a little too close to Big Brother, you can read their privacy statement under the ad. I’d hate to lose you as a reader. Though, if by now you don’t know the government is reading your every move through the internets, you’re hopeless and very naïve.
ANYways, I noticed today that its pick for me is the soundtrack to Jerry Springer: The Opera, but it’s hard to see “The Opera” part. I just saw “Jerry Springer.” I found that a bit offensive. This little bit of Japanese sushi is telling me that I would really enjoy Jerry Springer? Sure, I loves me some Project Runway and I loves me the first couple of weeks of American Idol when all the crazies come out and wag their fingers at Paula and I loves reading on the internets when Paula gets all crazy drunk and nearly falls out of her chair during an interview and I loves me some Britney actin’ a fool, thinking she’s Kojak with a lollipop in her mouth.
But Jerry Springer? Come on. A man’s got to draw a line somewhere. Then I read “The Opera” part, and I felt dumb. ‘Cuz Jerry Springer: The Opera sounds delightful.
Which leads me to this: How can I get that bit of Sanrio code down there to come up with, say…The Joy of Gay Sex or Our Bodies, Ourselves or Zamfir Plays the Most Beautiful Melodies: Volume 2 or Helen Reddy’s Greatest Hits? I’m not sure why suddenly I want to be swamped with pulp from my parent’s generation, but that’s not the point; I just want it to.
Or, what about a book on apples? I want to learn about apples. How are they made? Who puts the seeds in them? How come my local Albertson’s is only stocked with mealy, smushy apples that fall apart in your mouth like pre-chewed food from a momma bird? (I imagine.) Why is it always the apple that Eve supposedly took from the tree of knowledge, leading to millennia of suppression of the fairer gender? Why not a passion fruit, mango, or kiwi? Would it have made a difference? Would it have been a deadly, furry kiwi instead of an apple that poisoned Snow White? Is it the shape of the middle of a sliced apple that gets people all atwitter? The fact that it looks a little like, erm, lady-parts? Is the apple in the creation story supposed to represent lady-parts, thereby reinforcing the sin of woman? If the apple had been a furry kiwi in the creation story, would fuzzy bald men’s heads be a symbol of sin? Would I have to wear a hat to cover up my sinful, fuzzy head? Ooooooooh! Maybe it originally WAS a kiwi! That explains the Yarmulke! But then, what about Superman? When he’s Clark he wears a hat, and when he’s Superman he doesn’t! Does that mean Superman is sinful? Does that mean that saving people from falling glass using your heat-vision is sinful? Does that make Kryptonite some sort of holy instrument like a papal relic? I wonder if the Pope would bless a piece of Kryptonite…like if Lex Luthor somehow snuck a piece in front of him in a crowd and the Pope accidentally blessed it. What would happen? Do you think Superman could be cool with a blessed piece of Kryptonite? He’d be like, “Yeah, I know it could kill me, but come on! It’s blessed! Whaddaya gonna do?” I’m not sure why Superman had to turn into a Soprano just then, but it probably wasn’t the first time. And did you know that Miss Teschmacher’s first name is Eve? How’s that for a coincidence?
So, yeah, let’s just see what Okinawa down there comes up with now. Call this experimental theater.
-Update-
If you’re reading the comments below, this post used to have a lot of boldeds where now there are italics.
Junior | 26-Apr-07 at 1:43 pm | Permalink
I love the rambling! Keep it up.
alex | 26-Apr-07 at 4:47 pm | Permalink
If you think it’s hard to read that, think about the state of mind I have to be in to write it. You don’t want me going to that dark place too often.
crumpet | 26-Apr-07 at 5:31 pm | Permalink
I’m getting Rebel without a Crew by Robert Rodriguez. I should probably read the copy we already own soon.
I think it’s because the last book I looked up on Amazon was the Pi: Screenplay and Guerilla Diaries by Darren Aronofsky.
crumpet | 26-Apr-07 at 5:32 pm | Permalink
How to shoot a feature film for under $10,000.
crumpet | 26-Apr-07 at 5:33 pm | Permalink
$30 film school. And I’m clicking on all these just for you.
alex | 26-Apr-07 at 5:35 pm | Permalink
I only get paid if someone buys something. Thanks though.
The advertisement is an experiment at this point. I kind of like it as just a changing bit of graphic, and if I get a few pennies from it down the road, tha’s coo’.
alex | 26-Apr-07 at 5:40 pm | Permalink
Someone explain to me the correct usage of underlining, quoting, italicizing, etc.
This is what I remember from school:
In quotes if it is a newspaper or magazine article, a chapter in a book, a short story, or a song from an album.
Underlined if it is the whole album, book, or movie.
Now I see italicized things and bolded things. I’ve decided to bold things, but looking at this particular post, maybe it should be italicized.
CANDACE!!!! I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW!!!
Do you think she’ll come? I think Candace has magic powers like that. Like in Bewitched, where they just had to shout out Esmerelda’s name in order for her to show up.
Junior | 26-Apr-07 at 5:43 pm | Permalink
I’m getting iWoz. I think its a book.
saltine | 26-Apr-07 at 10:22 pm | Permalink
OK, it is true that I’m on line most of the day and that I check in at your blog “occasionally” while on line. However, at 5:40pm today when you were channeling me, I was packing the trunk of the car for a 5 hour car trip. Home now, checking in and here’s the scoop on underlining, etc
First of all, think like this: short or incomplete=quotation marks
long or complete=underlining
And as those two conventions of punctuation derive from handwriting or typewriting, italics and bold were not is use in conjunction with underlining and quotation marks. You see, it’s difficult to handwrite in bold or italics and no typewriter provided this application. In modern day with the use of the keyboard, italics is generally substituted for underlining. Bold is some other animal altogether and not a part of this conversation.
Sorry for the lateness of this reply. Maybe the information will serve you in the future.
MagnusFromBerlin | 27-Apr-07 at 1:26 am | Permalink
I’m getting …nothing… this is just like valentine’s day… I always got picked last for the soccer team… personality crisis… why don’t you like me you sushi chef, you
oh… (disabling AdBlock Plus)
I’m getting … “Clipse - Hell Hath No Fury” (You think you know what I like, but you don’t seem to know what i already have, Mr. japanese sushi-cook)
(enabling AdBlock Plus)
alex | 27-Apr-07 at 7:11 am | Permalink
Candace, what about an epic poem? At what point does a regular poem become an epic poem?
I keep getting Wings, not the TV show but the movie.
Also, I changed all the boldeds.
saltine | 27-Apr-07 at 9:54 am | Permalink
OMG Alex! You’re writing an epic poem? Now that is BOLD!
alex | 27-Apr-07 at 10:04 am | Permalink
Aw, hells-to-the-no. I was trying to find exceptions to the rules, since I assume a poem would be in quotes where a book of poems would be underlined or italicized. But then I thought about an epic poem, a possible exception to the rule given its length.
saltine | 27-Apr-07 at 10:34 am | Permalink
I was “taking the Mickey” as they say Down Under. You found the loophole, but yes, epic poems are underlined or italicized. Many times epic poems have chapters and those are in quotation marks.
Capitalization and punctuation as well as spelling and pronunciation are conventions which means they are agreed-upon standardizations, not right or wrong, only agreed upon.
Remember the harbor or harbour debate? That’s an example of different conventions for different countries. There are 1000’s of examples of spelling differences of the same word, country to country. Even within the US, region to region, there are a few examples of differences in conventions.
George Bernard Shaw said of Americans and the English: Two peoples separated by a common language.