The scene: Two men lay in bed, the morning after smoking cigarettes and cavorting with dangerous, boozy showgirls. The sun rises bringing shattered light to rumpled sheets. A cat cleans itself at the foot of the bed. The wood floor is littered with a torn tabloid, a shot glass being sniffed by a second cat, an unravelled sweater, a pair of boxers, two shoes placed thoughtfully together as if an invisible man stood in them, and two black socks thrown haphazardly apart.
The phone rings.
One of the men bolts upright and makes his way to the phone with one eye closed, the other searching. The other man remains sleeping.
Man #1: Mm. Hello?
A woman’s voice: Get up.
Man #1: What time is it?
Voice: Get the coffee ready. We’re coming over.
Man #1: (emphatically) You’re kidding!
(a beat)
Man #1: We’ll call you when we’re ready.
The other man is awake and looking alarmed.
Man #2: What is it? Is everyone okay? What happened?
Man #1: Who wakes up at 8:00 on a Sunday morning?
Man #2: I thought someone was dead.
Man #1: I wish I was, and your sister is insane.
A lone saxophone plays. A cat hacks up a hairball on a white shag rug.
So, this is how our Sunday started. I never fully recovered from that rude awakening. Jerry’s sister and brother-in-law came to town over the weekend. I spent most of the day Sunday and Monday recovering from whatever someone slipped in my water Saturday night. I’ll share some pictures.
Brother-In-Law provides a manly head for a Rodin
Brother-In-Law, Sister-In-Law, and me. This is the position I wanted to be in all day.
Brother-In-Law, Sister-In-Law, and Jerry. Zaha Hadid provides a place to relax.
This is not staged.
Neither is this.
I molest bronze.
Junior | 13-Mar-07 at 9:48 pm | Permalink
I bet the bronze liked it. I hope you do not take it as an insult when I say that you have a very weird family. It’s a good thing. A real good thing. (Hear that? That is the sound of my Twilight Zone reference going over everybody’s head)
alex | 14-Mar-07 at 9:07 am | Permalink
We had a great time. I wish I could have enjoyed it more that day. I’m glad we have the pictures to prove that I was really awake.
PulpAffliction | 14-Mar-07 at 8:42 pm | Permalink
You really must stop molesting bronze. It’s not a good way to go about life. Unless the bronze is undeniably sexy, in which case it’s slightly more understandable.
And yes Junior, you’ve proven that your encyclopedic knowledge of old television shows is superior to mine. Good job, just try to swerve and narowly avoid the scary door next time, okay?