balding angrily

I checked my site stats for the first time on Thursday, and I learned a little bit about you. Firstly, as I thought, most of my traffic comes from Filmspotting.net. Secondly, I have a lot more people looking at the site than are commenting. Here’s my challenge to you, non-commenter. Just register. You don’t have to comment; just register. It makes me happy.

Here is a partial list of the search terms used in Google to get people here with the amount of times each term occured. Thank you to Christopher Livingston for giving me the idea for this post.

• ethics v morals - 4 - I didn’t know this was such a hot topic.

• alanis i was hoping interpretation - 2 - Alanis Morissette lyrics have always been pretty self-explanatory to me, the need for an Alanis Rosetta Stone seemingly extraneous. As a sidenote, The Alanis Morissette Lyric Generator is still one of my favorites after how ever many years since The Brunching Shuttlecocks closed down.

• andy roony - 2 - At least two people in the world actually care what Andy Roony has to say anymore. That’s a cheap shot at the expense of an elderly person, I know. I’ve said this many times…and you can take this as helpful words of wisdom…Cheap shots are good for the simple reason that they’re cheap.

• balding angrily - 2 - These two hits are probably me.

• told that i’m balding - 2 - Awwwwwww. Stop crying. Listen very carefully. Sit down. Look in my eyes. You are a Child of God. You are just as handsome as Jesus intends. Don’t listen to those people. Those people are not your friends.

• i was hoping alanis meaning - 2 - Apparently, one does need an Alanis Rosetta Stone for “I Was Hoping”. If someone would like to clear this one up for the hopeful Googler, I’m sure they’d appreciate it. (See what I did there, with the “hoping” and the “hopeful”? Puns = funny.) (Joke 3.0! Superstar!)

• morals v ethics - 2 - So I tapped into some kind of zeitgeist. Does this make me a cultural shaman? I hope so. I’d like to imagine being dressed in a smoky cloak made of People magazines and mini personal televisions all tuned to Extra. I would sit by a plasma television with a video of a fire on it with my legs crossed, hands on knees, palms up in a attitude of reception for what the Oversoul of Popular Culture had to impart to me.

• meaning behind that i would be good morissette - 1 - To my brothers and sisters in constant obeisance to Alanis: she ain’t that hard to figure out. She’s pretty straight-forward. In fact, I’d challenge you to find a lyricist that is less…opposite of cryptic.

• ironic stories with morals - 1 - Everyone remembers The Tale of the Overly Long Piano Recital For ADHD Sufferers in Which They Only Served Red Bull and Nerds (The Candy Kind, Not the Horn-Rimmed Kind) at Intermission and The Mothers of Said ADHD Sufferers Learned that Hitting Their Children in Public Leads to Jail Time. Those were the days.

• leering college - 1 - Sign me up.

• well paid too comfortable - 1 - Please send me your job description and your salary. I don’t believe there is such a thing as “well paid, too comfortable.” You, sir or madam, are a liar.

• diapers irony - 1 - Tee-hee. This makes me turn Japanese Little Girl Type, covering my mouth while I giggle.

• boner kibbles - 1 - Is it dog kibble shaped like boners? Is it a boner dipped in frosting with kibble stuck to it? Is it dog kibble made of ground up boners? Does a person get a boner while acting like a dog and being forced to eat kibble? This is probably most likely. Offer up any other suggestions in the comments.

• reichen lehmkuhl cock - 1 - My guess is that, yes, he does have one. My second guess is that he’s still a douche. A cock does not a non-douche make.

• office blowjob - 1 - How the fuck? If you’re looking on Manhunt or M4M4FN for an afternoon hummer or stories of afternoon hummers, why would you come to a site with stories of when, how, and to what extent I pass gas? No need to answer that question, you person that may still be reading this. Welcome. I’m happy that you’ve stopped here, and can gain new insight into the human condition via fart stories.

Look! I know how to do bullets!