Brendan Higgins is a himbo. If you follow the wikipedia definition, it’s no surprise that a local news anchor is an “attractive but vacuous man.” That was the whole premise of Anchorman.
What’s a surprise to me is that I just figured it out this morning. Every school-day I wake up, scratch my chest and ass, stand in front of the mirror for about ten minutes trying to determine if I can see my ribs better, pinch my love handles trying to determine if they’ve gotten smaller overnight, take a shower, feeling my other parts that might have grown or shrunk, and pour myself a bowl of cereal. Then I turn on Channel 5 News, watch Brendan and Deborah and chew fiber goodness intending to make my stool nice and loose. Maybe it’s the cereal or the news, but it works like a charm every day.
This morning Brendan and Deborah had to vamp before it went to weather. I expect my news to be relatively free of chatter. I don’t want to know that he went to the game last night right after hearing a story about a person who died in a flash flood. It’s my thought that Brendan ended up an anchor unwittingly. He really wants to be the sports guy. I’m thinking this as I watch Deborah react to his dopey smiley comments with a straight face. She encourages him. She thinks his blather is fine for a morning news program. I said to myself, “what an idiot…but he’s cute.” And I loves me some dumb, cute guys: Ashton Kutcher, Sean William Scott, Johnny Knoxville: I loves ‘em. That’s when I realized that Brendan Higgins is a himbo; I like him like I like Joey Tribbiani.
I feel I’ve grown since I’ve had this moment of self-realization.
Also, I love a good person-gets-caught-in-their-car-in-a-flash-flood news story. I love pictures of cars sinking into water with people standing on top of them.
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